Dear Athena,
I have a problem, and I desperately need your help. I have no one else that I can turn to as I am in a strange land and my family is far away. Until 6 months ago I was living the life of a happy warrior princess. No one could defeat me and my army of warrior maidens. I spent my days doing my favorite tasks: training, hunting, sword fighting and hand to hand combat. Life was idealic. But then it all changed.
A hero who we shall call "Duke" landed on my shores. No matter how hard my army fought, we could not defeat him. And worse yet in the middle of the battle I got distracted. I couldn't help noticing his bulging muscles glistening in the warm sun. He was a total hunk! I just stood there with my mouth agape, gazing at his manly physique. And at that moment he struck me down. As the ruler of my people, this act insured that he had won. Not only the battle, but also me. He proved not only his superiority on the battle field but also the quality of his chivalry when he not only spared my life, but also invited me to his tent for dinner.
I have grown to love him. After all he is a total STUD on the battlefield. BUT I am a WARRIOR and nobody and I mean nobody tells me what to do. While I am not unhappy with him, I want our wedding to be MY CHOICE. How can I turn the tide of our love and become the dominant one?
Princess Warrior
Dear Warrior Princess,
ReplyDeleteI certainly understand your problem. The question of who "wears the pants in the family" is always an important one. My advice would be to just go along with the wedding and after you are married take control. This is easy enough. Your Duke sounds like a noble man and a strong one, but often men with lots of muscles are lacking in the most important one: the brain! Make him think your ideas are his. When he asks what is for dinner tell him you are making HIS favorite. Then YOU choose what to make and burn it on purpose. When you serve it just make sure you are wearing something pretty, and he will never even notice. Soon you will have him eating out of the palm of your hand. When you buy new swords make sure his is the smaller one, then compliment him on how large it makes his biceps look. Soon he will think his wimpy sword is just as good as yours!
You see all it takes to win the upper hand is a bit of ego stroking! Good luck!
Dear Warrior Princess,
ReplyDeleteYour problem is an interesting one. In order to get the upper hand in your relationship with Theseus just hit him over the head with your battle ax. This will cause his brains to scramble and he will bend to your will forever more. Of course he will be stupid from now, but at least he will have his looks which after all is the most important thing!
Good Luck Athena
By Sandi Stille